There’s a growing problem facing leaders today. And it’s being exacerbated by the third wave of the internet/the digitization of our society. We are getting so much stimulation (dopamine hits) from applications/social media, that our social skills and vital relationships are suffering!
The Problem:
Remember the health warnings in the 80’s about how advertisers were programming us how to think? It’s happening now! And we are our own worst enemies, fueled by secular consumerism. A deeply held subconscious belief that a progressive consumption of goods/information make us healthier and happier. And while that may be true for you based on your worldview, many leaders now spend more time on social media, than in meaningful dialogue with their families and business partners.
It’s the great “Social Paradox” of our time. What promises to be social connection has many of us more isolated than ever. While we search for more meaning and significance externally (think Maslow) we are becoming less effective at getting our emotional needs met… And connecting authentically, being empathetic and resolving our conflicts.
The Implications:
This has serious implications that undermine our leadership effectiveness, impacting our key inter-personal skills that are a primary driver of our influence. This is well documented with the millennial generation, and it’s slowly impacting all of us, as we are all connected in the greater system. For example, while divorce rates are basically flat since 1980, the % of the population getting married is the lowest since 1870. And while that may seem innocuous to most, it indicates that we are becoming increasingly more isolated as a society…And Yes, the Family, as a key social design /pillar in our communities is under attack. And let me make this real, my family is under attack!
So how can a leader leverage the benefits of Social Media, while mitigating the risks:
- Big Rocks First: Prioritize/schedule quality 1 on 1 time with your key relationships.
- Get a Program that limits your time on social media.
- Start a “No Social Media” night at home. aka all cell phones go in a box after dinner. Develop healthy family rituals, i.e. play games, share high/lows, etc.
- During date nights agree to leave your cell phones in the car.
- For company meetings adopt a no cell phone/lap top rule.
Are any of your relationships in jeopardy? Are you becoming more isolated at home? If so, what’s your next step? I hope you found this helpful! #spreadtheword